Tears for What’s Unsaid

Written by Zelda

 

(Author’s note: This story was sitting around for a while, to tell you the truth it’s quite depressing and I didn’t want it hanging around anymore, so I thought it was time to get it out of my head and into HTML. What, you wanted a happy ending? Well, this isn’t Disney, not here. Maybe a few years down the road I’ll stumble across it, become disgusted with it, and rewrite it like I did with Magic and The Labyrinth. Sorry this story is such a downer, I’ve been watching too much Cowboy Bebop. It’s beautiful to be a pessimist, sometimes ;))

 

                The night had been cold. Maybe this was what it was like back on Puckworld. But it was very cold tonight, and a little breezy too. She supposed that she shouldn’t have expected the weather in Chicago to be like it was in Anaheim, with the winter season really starting to kick in. But at least they weren’t in the city, the place made famous for its bitter winds. It was a smart decision by Wildwing to have stayed in this hotel, quite a ways from the city limits, just off the highway. The whole team was really able to relax, away from the noise, the press, and the fans for just a moment. And she liked it better out here too. She had never felt comfortable in the concrete confines of a city. The dragon shivered a little as she looked off at the city skyline, glaring brightly in the distance. It was unusually cold out tonight. Everything just seemed a little sharper in the clear air. Zelda breathed in deeply, and closed her eyes for a moment. And then suddenly, she knew that something was wrong. She opened her eyes wide, looking around her for an unseen answer. She stared straight ahead, and then up at the crowded, cloudy sky, her eyes round and unbelieving. Twitching slightly, she kept staring like that for a moment, eyes widening even more as she felt something lance through her, some terrible pain ripping its way through her head. The dragoness didn’t even have the presence of mind to cry out, only stood, disbelieving, eyes brimming with tears. Slowly, she started to shake her head, unwilling or unable to comprehend or accept what had just fed into her, whistling through her like the cold air into the back of her throat. Sinking to her elbows and knees, Zelda slowly crumpled on the gravel-covered roof of the outer-Chicago hotel, and cried.

 

                “No WAY!” Nosedive cheered. “I don’t believe it, they got peanut butter Captain Crunch!”

                As he started using the plastic trowel to shovel the cereal out into a paper bowl, Mallory rolled her eyes and walked away to grab a bagel. Hotel breakfasts were really no reason to complain, they often had a better spread than what was around the Pond. She slipped a pre-cut bagel into the toaster and yawned.

                “Glad to see everyone’s up.” Wildwing waved as he entered, combing back his hair a little.

                “Mornin’ fearless leader.” Duke nodded, tipping part of an English muffin to him as he put his feet up on one of the lobby’s small tables.

                “Don’t do that!” Tanya gave him a light whack on the shoulder. “People have to eat off of there!”

                Duke rolled his eyes and obeyed, as Nosedive plunked down in a chair next to him, giggled, and proceeded to shovel cereal into his beak.

                “Well, almost everyone’s awake.” Tanya looked up to Wildwing as he sat next to her, across from Duke. “I haven’t seen Grin or Zelda yet.”

                “I passed him in the hall.” Wildwing nodded. “He was going back to his room to get an aspirin, said something about a bad headache.”

                “Aww.” Dive started, muffled by his half-chewed breakfast. “What about Zel?”

                “She slept on the roof last night.” Mallory said, sitting at a table nearby. “Hope she wasn’t too cold or anything.”

                “Ehh, they’re tough animals.” Duke commented. “She’s fine.”

                “I fear not.” Grin interrupted the group as he entered, towering over them.

                “What do you mean?” Wildwing looked up at them.

                “I tried to call her through my window.” Grin explained. They had stayed on the top floor of the hotel the night before. “She refused to come down.” He folded his arms.

                “Refused?” Duke swallowed the last of his English muffin and stood. “Is she okay? Why didn’t you go up there and check?”

                “The door to the roof was locked.” Grin answered.

                “Well, you came to the right Duck for that…” Duke started fishing around in his belt pockets for his lock picks.

                “Ugh, mallards.” Mallory shook her head and stood. “Would it kill you to ask the guy at the desk for a key for once?”

                As she walked off towards reception, Duke smirked and shrugged.

 

                The door swung open roughly, with a metallic squeak. The sky above was gray, it was still rather chilly out in the morning air.

                “Zelda?” Wildwing called out, peeking around. Zelda was huddled at one of the roof’s far corners, facing the rising sun in the east. “Zelda, you okay?” He stepped out a little as he spotted her, the rest of the team peering through the doorway behind him.

                After a long pause, the dragon answered. “Go away…” Her voice was shaky.

                Grin frowned, and motioned Wildwing forward.

                “Come on girl, what is it?” he asked, crunching over the gravel as he walked a few paces towards her.

                “…Go away…” she repeated, huddling further, curling herself up. “I’m okay…”

                “You don’t sound okay.” Wildwing continued for her, crouching down a little. “What’s wrong?” She curled further from him, and Wildwing reached out a hand, placing it across the base of the back of her neck. He could feel her flinch under his touch, just enough to get a glimpse of her face. Three deep gashes ran from the top of her skull down over her eyebrows, straight down to the base of her jaw, still bleeding. The other side of her face had a matching set. Her eyes were still glassy, her face wet with tears. A slight breeze blew between them.

                “Something--- better left unsaid---“ she choked an answer, and hid from him again.

                “Zelda, what happened?” Wildwing asked quickly. “Who did that to you?”

                “… I did…” she confessed softly, her gut tightening as she did so. “It’s okay…”

                “No it’s not!” he crouched in the gravel beside her. “Zelda please, tell me what’s going on?”

                “I--- I can’t…” she started. “It still hurts--- I can’t…” And as she spoke, her jaw tightened, teeth clenched, eyes squinted in pain, as she crumpled herself up further and let more tears slip from her eyes.

                Wildwing felt confused and helpless. She had done this to herself? What on Puckworld would have made her? He gave a quick glance back to his teammates, who were still standing nervously by the door, and waved them over. “Zelda, you tell me what’s going on right now, okay?” She gave a little snort in reply, and Wildwing used the hand that was still on her back to try and pull her towards him. Normally he wouldn’t be so forceful, but the way she looked right now was frankly scaring him. “Zelda, tell me!”

                “I cant---!” she hissed, her voice thick with desperation, her head swinging up suddenly so that she looked him in the eyes.

                And what eyes, Wildwing thought. He had never seen her like this before. They were burning blue, but not out of rage, not as brightly as they usually did. Her eyes hid nothing, they burned with a rippling color that seemed to echo the rips through her face, as if her soul was wrenching them from the inside.

                “I’ll be okay--- but I can’t--- not now—“ she tried to explain.

                “Whoa, what the---“ Mallory had just caught sight of her, as most of the other Ducks drew in a collective gasp. “Was she attacked?”
                “I don’t think so.” Wildwing glanced back to them. “She said she did it…”

                “Zelda.” Grin crouched slowly, approaching her with a palm held out flat. “Let me see.”

                “No!” she responded emphatically with a loud snort, spinning to face them and ducking her head down in a defensive posture. It only lasted a moment, though, as her elbows and knees started to wobble, and she was forced to sit. “Please… you don’t want to know, not like that… I’ll tell you all… just give me a moment.”

                The team waited, staring both nervously and curiously as the dragoness tried to recompose herself. Finally, Zelda turned herself around, facing eastward again, more tears dripping down her face, trembling as she started to explain.

                “One of… my elders---- has died…” she choked, still shaking her head with the remnants of disbelief.

                “I’m sorry girl…” Wildwing started quietly, sincerely. “That’s awful.”

                “When…?” Mallory asked.

                “Sometime… last night… I don’t remember…” Zelda sniffled, trying to keep herself together.

                Wildwing sat down on the cold gravel, thinking. She must have felt that sort of thing, was this alone what had caused her to hurt herself? Was she grieving that badly?

                “Hey.” Nosedive squatted down, trying to look at her. “It’s gonna be okay, you know.”

                “You wanna go home?” Tanya asked. “We’re certainly close enough, we could drive there…”

                “No.” Zelda replied, her voice cracking. “Won’t help… I’m afraid…”

                “There’s gotta be something we can do, girl.” Duke blinked.

                “Nothing…” she shook her head slightly. “I’ll--- be okay…” The dragon tried to stand again, but couldn’t find the strength or determination enough to keep her joints locked, and support her own weight.

                Wildwing was back to frowning again. This was not the best time for something like this to happen. They were traveling to Minnesota today, for a game with the Wild. They couldn’t leave her here like this, and yet she wasn’t willing to move. He felt awful, seeing her like this. “Come on girl…” he started, leaning in a little closer to her. “Are you sure you don’t want to go home?”

                “Sure..” she answered with a slight nod, her eyes locked shut again. “I can’t, it--- it may be worse there…”

                “Well we can’t just leave you here.” Tanya nodded. “How about talking it over with us on the drive to the Minnesota game, hm?”

                Zelda didn’t move. Maybe she wasn’t that opposed to the idea.

                “It’s gonna be okay.” Wildwing reached out and patted her gently, causing the dragon to flinch again. “We’re good company, we’ll take care of you.”

                Head down in submission, eyes still closed, Zelda was helped by him to turn around. She stumbled as she did so. Tears were still running down her face, although she didn’t make a sound.

                Grin reached out and gently tried to pick her up. Again, she flinched upon being touched, but put up no further protest as he pulled her off of the ground, and into his arms. Her body was pretty cold, she had been out in this air too long. And how much had she been bleeding due to the gashes down her face? They looked fresh. Tanya would have to bandage those up, if Zelda would let her. And right now, it seemed as if the little dragon were as fragile as an eggshell. Even her scales felt paperweight and flimsy to the touch. She let out a light whimper and curled up into a ball.

                “Alright guys.” Wildwing began quietly. “Our stuff’s already packed in the Migrator, right? Let’s move out, we have to be in Minnesota by five…” He led the team back down off of the roof, down the stairs, and out of the hotel, with Grin and Zelda taking up the rear. The two in the back were a massive distraction, the leader thought as he walked down the stairs, trying to clear his head. What could they do for Zelda at a time like this? It didn’t even seem like she was looking for help right now. But then what? Shaking his head, the leader continued downstairs, heading for the Migrator that was parked outside.

 

                The feeling of being torn hadn’t let up at all during the several hours that they had to drive. There was little talking between anyone, and the tension in the air was thick. On one hand, the team was trying to focus on the game ahead of them. They’d have to be in top form to show up one of the newer teams in the league, in Minnesota tonight. On the other hand was Zelda, who was in the back of the Migrator, curled up in Grin’s lap. Try as she might to contain them, her sobs periodically reached the front of the vehicle, and the ears of all who sat there. When she wasn’t crying, she lapsed into shaking, sometimes violently so. All that Grin could do was sit there with her, his arms and knees folded up in a protective cage around her. But unlike other times when she had felt so hurt, she wasn’t responding to him at all. He had given up trying to get her to talk. She seemed to have relapsed into her own little world, and he knew the rest of the team was frustrated as to why. Zelda had always made a point of keeping her life with them and her life at home very separate. Aside from occasional visits from the other three leaders, the Ducks rarely saw another one of her kind. Grin could count on one hand the number of times he’d set foot in her homeland, the Territory. So now that something like this had happened, how were they supposed to help her? She was disconnected from those who knew what she was going through, for some reason she didn’t want to go back and join them. Grin knew that he had to get her to respond to him, he at least had to try. So he kept rubbing a hand gently over her trembling back, whispering to her from time to time. Sometimes it was English, sometimes blended with a few Tibetan and Japanese Zen chants that he had learned while he’d been on this planet. They’d always helped him to relax in the past, and she knew what those words meant as well. Unfortunately, they seemed to have little effect. Grin sighed and checked to make sure that Zelda wasn’t getting any blood on his pants. She was still bleeding slightly through the quickly-applied bandages that looped around her face. Tanya only had so long to work with her before the dragon had curled up and wouldn’t let her face be touched again.

                Back up in the front of the vehicle, Mallory was watching the pair with concerned eyes. “I don’t believe this…” she whispered.

                “Hm?” Duke asked, nodding slightly.

                “This whole mess, I guess. But even moreso that she won’t let us take her home.”

                “Wildwing asked her several times.” Tanya reminded him, turning halfway around from the passenger seat.

                “Yeah, but why would she be stubborn about something this bad?” Mallory asked. “Look, her kind’s like family to her, one of them just died, for DuCaine’s sake. She needs to be with the rest of them.”

                “What can we do Mal?” Dive asked. “We can’t make her go.”

                “But that’s my point.” Mallory started. “What can we do for her here? We have no idea what’s going on. She’s certainly not going to tell us, you know how she is.”

                “Nothin’ we can do about it sweetheart.” Duke shrugged slightly. “I don’t like it either, but she calls the shots about it.”

                Staring out at the featureless Midwestern plain ahead of him, Wildwing was half-heartedly listening to the conversation. A small part of his mind was running through Minnesota’s roster for the game that night. Plus/minus ratings, goaltending style, whether or not they played a neutral-zone trap, everything automatically filtered through his head as he kept his eyes on the road. But the majority of his brain was devoted to pushing the game tonight out of his mind. He’d found one of his teammates bleeding on the rooftop that morning, how could he think about tonight’s game? A confused and frustrated team leader was acknowledging Mallory’s point. They didn’t know what to do for her. They could only stress over it so much. As guilty as he felt about it, someone had to keep their focus on what lie ahead for the team. Maybe that was his job. Wonderful. He got to be the cold-hearted, straight-minded, battle-oriented commander. Now he knew how Canard felt on the way to their battle in the Master Tower. Just one more stop along the endless freeway, the city of Minnesota stood before them, just on the horizon.

                “Should only be about another forty minutes or so.” he remarked, the first comment he’d made aloud to the team in a long time.

 

                It all felt extraordinarily uncomfortable, getting geared up for the game. Through the door that led to the rink, they could hear the pulsing music and cheering fans in the stadium. But the locker room itself was eerily silent. They had left Zelda to her own devices on a table for team doctors, in the room. She appeared to be sleeping, plain worn out from the events of the night before. Trying not to sound unsure of himself, even though he was, Wildwing knew he had to put tonight in perspective.

                “Listen up Ducks.” he started. “I know it’s usually someone else that gives the pep talks, but tonight it’s important that we focus on what’s directly ahead. We definitely need two points, a win from this Wild team, and we can get it tonight if we keep our heads in the game and go with what we’ve been practicing for weeks. Our concentration has to be here, understand? Otherwise this is going to be one very long and very miserable game.” He looked around and felt a little relived as he saw the faces of his teammates nodding back at him in agreement. Apparently he’d said the right words. Now, just to put them into practice… As he heard a roar of fanfare from the crowd outside, Wildwing turned and walked to the door.

 

                A tie. A tie. Against the Wild? Normally Nosedive would be disgusted with himself. But tonight wasn’t really normal at all. Things had really kicked into slow-mo once the game was over, and the adrenaline was gone. The team had slowly packed their gear up, slowly loaded it onto the Migrator, and slowly driven to the nearest airport, where the Aerowing was waiting to take them home. They had slowly gotten the Migrator into the cargo bay, slowly taken their seats, slowly taken off. It would have been agonizingly boring if he hadn’t been so tired out from the game. Dive was content with the point this time. And following slowly behind them the whole night was Zelda, trailing silently after the team with her head down, her eyes-half open, plodding like a zombie. When she boarded the Aerowing, she chose to flop down along the wall of the rear bay, instead of up near the seats with the rest of the team. For some reason, Dive had chosen to be the one to hang back with her this time. First of all, he didn’t wanna be among a set of grumpy teammates who were going to, no doubt, complain about tonight’s lack of offense. Then, it seemed like Grin deserved a good nap on the way home. He looked like he hadn’t slept much last night. And lastly, he was concerned about the dragon too. So he sunk down along the wall next to her, and put an arm around her curled form, hoping that she wasn’t already asleep and he wouldn’t wake her up. He was in luck, for Zelda responded with a soft snort and pushed herself up against his leg, snuggling into him slightly. Nosedive yawned and thought it would be a good opportunity for him to get a little sleep himself. Sitting against the wall wasn’t too uncomfortable.

                Meanwhile, those up in the Aerowing’s cockpit were mostly silent as the ship plowed through the cloudline, and off into the night. Mostly.

                “Can’t believe it.” Duke grumbled with a yawn, crossing his arms.

                “Eh, what’s done is done.” Tanya shrugged, seated once again in the passenger seat. “We played a hard game tonight, so did they. I think we should be happy with the point.”

                “Certainly better than nothing.” Wildwing admitted. “At least now we get to go home, rest for a few days.”

                “We are not the only ones who need it.” Grin nodded, motioning slightly back to the cargo bay.

                Tanya perked up slightly as a light started blinking on the console. “Wildwing, we’re getting a com message in.”

                “From a com?” He asked. “You know what… it’s probably from the Territory. Patch it up on one of the video monitors, would you Tanya?”

                And with the clicks of a few keys, an image flashed to life on one of the console’s several built-in screens. The team leaned in to look back into the face of an old-looking, dusty lime green dragon. It blinked a set of very unusual looking eyes and sniffed at the screen.

                “Hello?” Wildwing asked tentatively.

                The dragon paused for a moment, blinked again, and cocked its ears in a few different directions. “So…” It spoke in a feminine voice. “You are Wildwing.”

                “Yes…” he answered. “Who are you?”          

                “My name is Tracer.” the dragon replied. “Lucky I was able to find this, it’s beginning to smell much like the rest of the den…”

                Wildwing frowned slightly as he realized why her eyes looked so different. They were a sort of milky white color, clouded over with no pupils. This dragon was blind.

                “So…” she started again. “You are probably aware of the nature of this sort of call.”

                “I’m afraid so.” Wildwing nodded. “We’re sorry to hear about what happened.”

                “Do not be sorry.” Tracer shook her head with a slight smile. “We must all find peace in death one day. Last night was simply Knotwood’s time. He was old, such things come without incident.”

                “That was his name?” Wildwing asked.

                “Yes. Being an elder, like me, his death greatly affected all of us here. I know that it is no different for our guardian leader.”

                “She---“ Wildwing was going to report on how the dragon had cut herself, when he saw that Tracer bore a few similar marks down the side of her neck.

                “It is part of the process, I’m afraid.” Tracer responded, to Wildwing’s surprise, as if she knew what he was going to say. “The afterlife holds no physical pain. Sometimes, we have to convince ourselves that we haven’t crossed over with the dead.”

                “He was that important to her?”

                “To all of us. We are all important to each other.” Tracer explained. “In a clan of so few. That is why I contacted you tonight. I have seen that you do not completely know of how this sort of thing is handled.”

                “That’s true…” Wildwing started. “Zelda’s really never told us…”

                “Nor will she ever. Even for a guardian, she’s quite overzealous. Though she’s never done anything to ban contact per-se, she has tried to keep a barrier between the two halves of her life.”

                “I agree.” Wildwing nodded. “But the trouble with that is that we don’t know what to do for her. Should we bring her home to you?”

                Tracer paused for a moment in thought. Blinking her useless eyes, she twisted her neck and cocked her ears in different directions again. “No. The dragoness wishes to see if she can tough this out on her own. It will be a difficult lesson, I must give her credit.”

                “Look, we really don’t like seeing her suffer like this.” Wildwing reasoned. “If there’s anything we can do to help, please tell us.”

                “Let the bones fall where they may.” Tracer nodded cryptically. “You already provide her with more than you realize. Now that she is away from home, it is your strength, not ours, that fuels her. The bonds she shares with you have helped to pull her through every crisis that has threatened your team. This time will be no different.”

                “So… that’s it?”

                Tracer smiled an old-looking smile. “Impatient youth. Death carries many lessons for both the spirits and the living. Do not seek to heal hearts in a day, and erase the important things the young leader has to learn! This is all that I can tell you. My communication to you was simply so that you would not worry as much about her.”

                “Well, thank you.” Wildwing nodded.

                “You are welcome. Now, I bid you a safe journey back to Anaheim. The stars are beautiful out tonight.” With another nod and the click of a button, the dragon faded out of the picture, and the screen went black.

                “What the heck was that all about?” Mallory asked.

                “That must have been the blind dragon Zelda told me about.” Wildwing thought aloud. “She mentioned to me once that there were some.”

                “Well, still doesn’t answer my question.” Mallory folded her arms. “I mean, she didn’t tell us anything!”

                “She told us to be patient.” Grin opened one eye from where he was trying to doze off. “Should Zelda wish to go through this without the aide of her kind, then she’ll have us. There is nothing more we can do, save bringing her elder back from the dead.”

                “No chance of that, I suppose.” Duke folded his arms behind his head and leaned back in his seat.

                Mallory frowned at the lot of them. “Fine, fine, but I’ll at least tell her the fact that Tracer called.” Mallory unbuckled her seatbelt, stood up, and stretched a little before heading backwards along the wall. She heard her boots clank along the floor as she walked, spotting Zelda and Dive easily, slumped against the floor. Nosedive appeared to be asleep, and she wasn’t surprised at all. But Zelda heard the noise and opened her eyes to meet her. “Hey girl…” Mallory started. “Been sleeping?”

                Zelda let out a low sigh in the negative.

                “I know, it’s tough.” Mallory squatted to give the dragon a pat on the head. “But guess who found that com we have stashed back in your cave? We just got a call in from Tracer.”

                Zelda raised her head slowly, blinking and looking curious. Slowly, she let out a very slight smile and shook her head.

                “Can’t believe she found it…” she spoke in a worn-out whisper. They were the first words she’s spoken since that morning.

                “What, being blind and all?” Mallory asked.

                “No, Tracer’s been blind from hatching.” Zelda explained softly, clearing her throat slightly to get used to talking again. “But her senses are incredible… she’s kind of a seer, I suppose.”

                “Really? I didn’t know you guys had those kind of things.” Mallory sat on the floor to get more comfortable.”

                “Hard to explain, how she works.” Zelda nodded, and then paused for a moment. “She… didn’t get through this unscathed either… Knotwood was a nestmate of hers…” Zelda’s eyes glassed over with tears as she reached up to feel the cuts, under the bandages along her face. By the time her claws had gotten that far, the tears had spilled over silently.

                “Aww, come on girl… don’t cry.” Nosedive started groggily. Apparently the conversation had awakened him.

                “I’m sorry---“ she whispered, trying to keep herself talking. “You see… we have sort of… mental bonds with each other… When someone’s gone… it’s like just tearing a piece of yourself out…”

                “Hey, you’re gonna be alright.” Nosedive drew his arm a little tighter around her.

                “I know… I know…” she whispered, pressing her face into his leg. “Just hurts, just for now…”

                Mallory frowned slightly and shifted back onto her feet. “You need to get some sleep girl.” she advised, and headed back for the cockpit.

                Nosedive yawned in agreement, and pulled the dragon halfway up into his lap. “You heard her, orders are orders, you know.”

                Zelda’s tears had slowed, and she nuzzled into Dive’s belly, tickling him inadvertently.

                In response, he giggled, and rubbed one of her ears between a thumb and forefinger. “I’m sorry this hadda happen to you girl.” he started, his eyes getting heavy again. “And the rest of your clan and all. But I guess it’s inevitable, you know?”

                Zelda was purring softly at having her ear rubbed. “One more lesson, Dive…” she whispered, and felt herself drift off into a welcome blackness of sleep.

 

The End